What are interpersonal skills? Definition and 8 common examples

When it comes to defining the main characteristics of a successful employee, the first ones that usually get mentioned are the respective employee's specific knowledge and abilities, the so-called "hard skills." While being good at whatever your job requires you to do is obviously a top criterion for workplace performance, other, slightly more subtle qualities can help you achieve professional success. Working on your interpersonal skills will not only help you improve your current job performance, but might also help in all aspects of your life.

What are interpersonal skills?

Interpersonal skills are the various qualities and characteristics people use to successfully interact, cooperate, and communicate with each other. Also called people skills or emotional intelligence, they are considered soft skills, meaning they're personal traits that can help you regardless of your job title. They can help you interact more effectively and efficiently with everyone around you, including bosses, co-workers, clients, suppliers, and even friends and family. While you can't measure interpersonal skills objectively, you can certainly improve them.

Examples of interpersonal skills

These are some interpersonal skills employers generally find valuable in an employee or a job candidate:

1. Clear communication

Being able to express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely is one of the main criteria for success in many types of professional situations. Colleagues and employers appreciate effective communicators because they make it easy to understand what they want to say, which leaves little room for misunderstandings and ambiguities. Besides direct face-to-face interaction, communication skills extend to other situations, such as interacting over the phone and by text or through letters, e-mails, or online chat. 

The ability to express what's on your mind in a way people can easily understand is a top personal and professional quality. If you're not a natural communicator, the best way to improve your communication skills is through practice. Seek various opportunities to communicate, both at work and in your personal time. These can range from discussions with friends to dedicated classes for people who want to work on their communication skills.

2. Active listening

Communication is a two-way street, and being an effective communicator also means you can closely follow what other people are saying to you. Besides making interactions more productive, being a good listener can improve other people's opinions of you, as they're likely to interpret it as a sign of appreciation and respect. 

Having advanced active listening skills typically refers to fully focusing on the person who's talking to you and avoiding various distractions around you. If this seems easy, you might be a natural active listener. If you find it challenging to focus during a conversation and remember what the other person told you, the good news is you can work on developing this skill. Some of the things you can do to display and improve your active listening skills are:

• Don't interrupt the other person. Although you might feel like you have something to add to the conversation, it's usually both polite and effective to let the person talking to you finish their idea before intervening. If you do interrupt, make sure to ask them to continue their thought after you finish making your point, as this shows you were paying attention and are genuinely interested in what they had to say.
• Maintain eye contact. A face-to-face conversation isn't only about the words being said; it's also about the various nonverbal cues our brains subconsciously detect and interpret. Looking at the person you're talking to while they're expressing an idea shows your interest and also helps you maintain your focus.
• Pay attention. You can give subtle hints to show you care about what the other person is saying and that you're paying attention to the conversation. You can do this in multiple ways, from short verbal confirmations like "aha" and "I see" to nonverbal ones like nodding and smiling when appropriate.
• Ask relevant questions. One of the keys to a successful conversation and a way to demonstrate you're paying attention is to ask questions based on what the other person just told you. The questions can vary based on context, and commonly include requests to elaborate on their thoughts or to clarify what they meant.

3. Teamwork

Teamwork skills are the traits that help you collaborate effectively with others on various tasks and projects. Because many jobs are collaborative efforts, employers are usually very interested in job candidates who can work well within a team. Being able to express your ideas clearly and listening to what others are saying are vital aspects of effective teamwork, meaning working on those interpersonal skills is likely to boost your collaborative abilities. You can also improve them by making a conscious effort to take full responsibility for your work and be honest with your colleagues.

"Working on your interpersonal skills will not only help you improve your current job performance, but might also help in all aspects of your life."

4. Empathy

Empathy refers to the willingness and ability to relate to what the people around you are feeling and experiencing. This can allow you to see things from their point of view, which can help you interact more effectively and understand why they chose to perform certain actions. Because many workplaces include people with different personalities, cultures, backgrounds, and temperaments, being able to put yourself in their shoes can improve your relationship with them. Also, as interpersonal skills are generally interrelated, being more empathetic with those around you can also improve your communication, listening, and teamwork. 

5. Confidence

Being confident in your thoughts and actions is a major factor in your personal and professional success. It's important, however, to base your confidence on solid and objective criteria because if you overestimate your abilities, reality will eventually catch up with you. There's no trick or fast route to improving confidence, with the most effective method being thorough preparation and practice. In most professional contexts, including job interviews, projects, and individual tasks, working hard and not skipping any steps in your preparation can give you the natural confidence that comes from knowing you've done your homework. 

6. Conflict resolution

With many jobs being collaborative efforts, the possibility of occasional conflicts occurring is pretty high. Regardless of whether the conflict involves you, being able to be part of the solution is a valuable interpersonal skill. Whenever such a situation arises, use your other interpersonal skills, such as active listening and empathy, to see things from both sides and work to find a compromise that satisfies both parties involved. Advanced conflict resolution skills are not only valued by employers but can also help you reach managerial positions. 

7. Positivity

Being able to stay positive when facing challenges at work can be a valuable interpersonal skill. Besides helping you find effective ways to resolve the respective challenges, adopting a positive mindset can inspire those around you to do the same. This doesn't necessarily mean you must remain cheerful regardless of what happens but, rather, you should make a conscious effort to find the positives in each situation instead of focusing on what went wrong. 

8. Negotiation

Even if your job doesn't involve direct negotiations, having advanced negotiation skills can help you at various stages of your career. Common instances where being able to negotiate might come in handy include discussing your salary and responsibilities at a new job, agreeing to various terms with clients, or reaching a compromise when a disagreement arises. Being a good negotiator usually requires active listening skills to hear what the other party has to say, empathy to understand their point of view, and willingness to come to a mutually satisfying outcome.

If these interpersonal skills come naturally to you, then you're in luck. If not, you can improve them all through dedication and practice. Although it might seem challenging at first, seeing the resulting improvements in your professional and personal life is likely to motivate you to keep improving. 

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